


Memories You Bury Or Live By

by Ren



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Ensemble Cast, M/M, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:25:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9508928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ren/pseuds/Ren
Summary: "You have other pilots," Viktor points out. "Other Jaegers.""I don't have ateam! All I've got is a bunch of cadets who are not drift compatible with anyone. You and Katsuki are the best I've got, and History Maker…""History Maker is just an old Mark-3. You've got the Mark-5 that was just completed. I'm sure you'll find someone to pilot it."





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a short Otayuri drabble for the last day of yoiweek2017. It took me two weeks to write and it's now some kind of sprawling ensemble fic. I blame Evy for giving me Too Many Ideas.
> 
> I know that some parts are full of exposition, but I've already spent so long on it and I'd like to continue writing my original story now, so... this is it. It's a bit disjointed but I hope you like it.

"Vitya, don't go!"

Marshall Yakov Feltsman stands in the middle of the helipad, bare-headed despite the rain falling in sheets around him. Viktor gives him a tired smile. They had the same conversation over and over for the past week, but this is just typical of Yakov: he won't let him leave without one last fight.

"I've already made my decision," Viktor says. He can feel the rain trickling in rivulets into the neck of his coat. "I'm sorry I can't do as you ask."

"This is not about me!" Yakov exclaims, face already turning purple with rage. "Who's going to defend the Siberian wall if you go? What about all the people who are counting on you?"

"You have other pilots," Viktor points out. "Other Jaegers."

"I don't have a _team_! All I've got is a bunch of cadets who are not drift compatible with anyone. You and Katsuki are the best I've got, and History Maker…"

"History Maker is just an old Mark-3." Viktor looks past Yakov's shoulder. In the distance, he can just barely see the Jaeger on the huge transport taking him across the Sea of Japan. "You've got the Mark-5 that was just completed. I'm sure you'll find someone to pilot it."

"I've got a thousand kilometres to defend, the entire perimeter of the Kamchatka Peninsula and the Sea of Bering," Yakov says, as if Viktor doesn't know. As if Viktor hasn't spent the past three years doing just that – endless patrols, five Kaiju kills, not a single breach in the wall. "If you go, you're turning your back to your country."

Viktor glances towards the helicopter waiting for him before turning back to Yakov. "If we don't go, we're turning our back on Yuuri's country. I can't ask him to do that." He's already kept Yuuri away from Japan for too long.

"It's true that the attack of Fukuoka was bad," Yakov admits. He sounds troubled, and with good reason. Two Jaegers were destroyed before they could stop the Kaiju ravaging the coastline. Three pilots dead, one in a coma. A devastating blow for Japan's Corps. "But I don't understand why they're sending _you_ instead of any other pilot team."

When Viktor had seen a recording of Yuuri's simulator drops and had asked him to become his co-pilot, Yuuri had packed his bags and moved to the Vladivostok Shatterdome without a second thought. Now, years later, it's time for Viktor to return the favour.

"I asked for the transfer," Viktor says. He had just enough clout with the Pan Pacific Defense Corps to pull it off. "Yuuri never says anything, but the attack was so close to where his family lives, it shook him badly. He forgets I can see what he thinks when we drift." His lips curl into a small smile as he glances towards the helicopter where Yuuri is waiting for him. "The Tokyo Shatterdome isn't too far from here, we can still be your reinforcements if you need us."

"If you go, there might not be anything to come back to," Yakov grumbles. "The first Kaiju attack will raze us to the ground."

Viktor doubts it will come to that. He bends down to kiss Yakov on the cheek. "Dasvidania."

He steps past Yakov and, without turning back, gets to the helicopter. He gets inside, dripping water everywhere, and signals to the pilot that they're ready to leave.

Yuuri takes Viktor's hand, linking their fingers together. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." As the helicopter takes off, Viktor takes one last look at the dark shape of the Shatterdome below. Yakov is still standing in the middle of the helipad, and Viktor raises one hand in goodbye. Then he turns to Yuuri and forces the biggest smile he can. "I'm looking forward to being in Japan again."

\---

It's true that Yakov has other pilots. They are, by and large, the bane of his existence and the reason he's going bald. Yakov has no idea what he did to deserve such a troublesome group.

Just by looking at their dossiers, it seems easy enough to decide who should pilot Tiger Fury: Mila Babicheva and Yuri Plisetsky are by far the best pilots to have come out of the academy in recent years. Yakov hasn't seen this level of raw talent since he first saw Viktor fight.

It should be a no-brainer to match Mila and Yuri together. The problem is that the two of them are not drift compatible, at all. Yakov has tried to get them to work together, but it always ends in disaster.

In their latest attempt, not only they had failed to stop a simulated attack on the Kuril Islands, they had actively contributed to the destruction of two towns while trying to stop the Kaiju. The whole fiasco had concluded with the accidental meltdown of their Jaeger's nuclear reactor, and with Mila and Yuri storming out of the simulation room's Conn-Pod looking like thunder.

"Give it up, it's not going to happen." General Lilia Baranovskaya purses her lips as she surveys the monitors displaying the mission's statistics. "You'll have to find someone else to pilot Tiger Fury."

"I don't get it. Their individual simulator scores are some of the highest I've ever seen, almost as good as Viktor's."

Lilia sniffs. "It takes more than that to make a team, or have you forgotten how it is to be inside a Jaeger?"

"Then what about Georgi? We could try to see if he's compatible with Yuri or Mila. He has years of experience, and he's got real passion and dedication–"

"He's too emotional to be a pilot. Besides, you know he's not compatible with them."

She's right, as always. They've been trying for years to find a co-pilot for Georgi, and every time they think they found someone the neural handshake fails.

"Maybe I should put him forward for a position at the Jaeger Academy," Lilia continues. "Georgi designed this combat scenario, did you know? He's got a natural talent for it."

That would be a great opportunity for Georgi – give him a real chance to put his skills to use. "It doesn't solve the problem of who's going to pilot Tiger Fury."

Lilia hands Yakov a thick folder. "I've already compiled a list of potential candidates and asked them to fly in for assessment. They'll be here tomorrow."

"Thanks." Flipping through the documents in the folder, Yakov can see that Lilia has been looking for potential pilots all across the world. There's names from all major European and Asian militaries, as well as recent graduates from the academy, all with impeccable resumes. "I hope one of those is the future co-pilot of Tiger Fury."

"You'll find someone," Lilia replies. "You have to."

\---

Yuri is already fed up with the stupid tryouts. "Was there anyone in your group who wasn't a complete waste of space?"

Mila takes several large gulps from a bottle of water. "Just one," she says, glancing at the dozen or so candidates on the other side of the room. "I don't think we'd suit, though, his style was too different from mine. He might be compatible with you."

Yuri snorts. "I doubt it." There's nobody who can keep up with him, apart from Viktor, and Viktor already has a co-pilot. Yuri takes one last sip of water. "Let's get this travesty over with."

To the side, Yakov and Lilia are taking notes and whispering together over the results of each fight. Lilia calls two names, and two of the guys step onto the mats in front of Yuri and Mila.

Yuri remembers the man in front of Mila and snorts – he's not any good. His own opponent doesn't look like much either. Yuri dispatches him in a matter of seconds, feinting and then tripping his legs with one end of the staff. When he looks up, Mila also has her opponent pinned to the ground.

Lilia purses her lips and scribbles something in her clipboard. "Next!"

Yuri's new opponent – Otabek Altin – doesn't look like much. Dark haired and expressionless, like he doesn't care about the tryouts at all. He's of average height, making him look short in a room full of tall military types. Yuri himself is only a few centimetres shorter, and he's still growing.

At least Otabek is well-built: Yuri can see his muscles ripple under his tank top as he picks up a staff and twirls it experimentally. Yuri steps into a defensive stance. Otabek moves.

Yuri sees him coming and parries Otabek's blow, deflecting it with ease. He steps around, feinting, then lunges. Otabek sidesteps and knocks Yuri's staff aside. His moves are fast. Yuri stops thinking, starts parrying out of sheer reflexes. When he sees an opening, he pivots on one leg and lunges forward.

His staff stops mere millimetres away from Otabek's face. They stare at each other, both panting.

"One-zero," Lilia calls, startling Yuri out of his trance. It's the first time Yuri has had to exert himself this morning. Scratch that, Yuri hasn't had to get serious during hand-to-hand training with anyone since Viktor left.

"Again," Yuri calls out, voice rough.

They go at each other again, and again, and again. Even Mila stops to look at them fight. It's not that Otabek's technique is particularly good – his footwork is unpolished and no doubt Lilia would find faults with his stances – it's just the way his movements flow together, making even difficult moves seem effortless.

"Two-two," Lilia calls as Yuri is thrown down, with a move that's almost an exact copy of the one Yuri himself used in his previous match.

Yuri bounces back at once, staff spinning in a wide arc. His half ponytail is coming undone and his hair is whipping wildly around his face with every move. It's not even just about winning, even though, yeah, winning is part of it. But most of all, Yuri wants to see what else Otabek will do. The only sound in the room is their staffs clacking together.

By the time they finish, four-three for Yuri, they're both panting hard. Otabek is sprawled on the mat where he fell. Yuri offers Otabek his hand and Otabek pulls himself up. If he's disappointed that he lost, his face shows no signs of it.

"You're good," Yuri tells him.

"You're better." Otabek's hand is warm under Yuri's touch, his palm callused.

Lilia makes some marks on her clipboard and leans over to whisper something to Yakov. Yuri and Otabek exchange a look.

"All right," Lilia says, clapping her hands for attention. "The next candidates, please."

"No," Yuri says. "I've had enough."

Yakov splutters, "What do you mean–"

"There's no need to continue. He's my co-pilot."

\---

"Why me?" Otabek asks.

Yuri shrugs. He's wavering back and forth – no doubt he'd be bouncing with nervousness, if he wasn't weighed down by his drivesuit and boots. "Dunno. But you felt it too, right? It was like… like I _know_ that we're drift compatible!"

They're standing in the Conn-Pod, already outfitted in their drivesuits, but they haven't been locked into the motion rig yet. Technicians are still running some last-minute diagnostics. Otabek still can't believe that he's about to drift with Yuri Plisetsky.

Otabek doesn't have any frame of reference, has never actually drifted with anyone, but he definitely felt something back there. "So… you didn't pick me because we already met before?"

"We did?" Yuri's face is blank.

"Five years ago," Otabek says. "I was in my country's junior training program and they sent me to the Russian Jaeger Academy for a few weeks."

Kazakhstan doesn't have Jaegers yet but, as the Kaiju War stretches on, the government is preparing for the eventuality that some Kaijus might one day break through Russian and Chinese defences and make their way inland. Otabek had been proud of being one of his country's best and brightest, until he'd seen the Russian pilots and realized he was worse than the worst of them.

Yuri's face still looks blank. "I can't remember."

"Even then, you already had the eyes of a soldier." The eyes of someone who knew that one day he would step inside a Jaeger to protect the world. That was when Otabek decided that he was going to do the same.

Otabek supposes it doesn't matter if Yuri doesn't remember – soon they're going to drift for the first time, and then Yuri will be inside his head. Hopefully he won't be weirded out by what's in there.

Even if they had more time to talk, there's no privacy inside the Conn-Pod, surrounded as they are by a dozen people. Soon enough the technicians finish setting up.

Yuri and Otabek are directed to stand on two marked spots on the platform while the techs lock their boots to the complex system of pistons on the floor, then rig more cables to their arms and wrists. Two helmets descend from the ceiling and slot into place on the suit collars with a series of clicks and hisses. Otabek feels rather than sees the relay gel dispersing from the helmet into the circuitry of the suit.

Yakov's voice booms through their helmets. "Can you hear me? Are you ready? Let's get this started."

"Neural bridge initializing," says a digital voice overhead, and Otabek holds his breath. To his left, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Yuri's helmet turn just a fraction towards him.

"Davai," Yuri says and Otabek gives him a thumbs up.

"Initiating neural handshake in three… two…"

Drifting is not like Otabek expected. He thought it would be awkward, having to share his private thoughts and memories with a stranger, but it's not. It's amazing how comfortable he feels, given that he's known Yuri for all of a few hours.

There's flashes of images, all of them familiar, even though he's seeing some of them for the first time.

Five kids playing in a courtyard under the shade of an apple tree. Dinner with grandpa. The Jaeger Academy in St Petersburg, grey buildings with grey-faced men. Viktor teaching him a new move and correcting the position of his left arm. The view from a rooftop, skyscrapers and busy streets and snow-capped mountains in the distance.

He sees Yuri too – a younger version of him, as he was the first time they met, frowning in concentration as he folds his arms into a defensive stance.

"Wow," whispers the real Yuri next to him.

"Neural handshake holding strong," says the digital voice.

Yuri and Otabek raise their leg and Tiger Fury takes her first step forward.

\---

"Hi Yurio!" Yuuri says, one arm around Viktor's shoulders, the other waving at the screen. "How are you?"

"Pretty good," Yurio smirks. "In fact, you two can stay where you are. We don't need you any more, we can take care of the wall just fine with Tiger Fury."

"Wait until your first Kaiju kill before saying that," Viktor laughs, but Yuuri can hear the pride in his voice.

Yuuri is glad, too. He'd argued with Viktor about leaving, about leaving the Siberian wall unguarded. He's still worried – how can he _not_ be, with Kaiju attacks on the rise – but at least now he knows that Russia's defences are strong.

"By the way," Yuuri says, "have you seen the footage of the attack in Acapulco?"

Yurio shrugs. "That was just a Category III," he says with the easy confidence of someone who never had to go against a Kaiju outside a simulator. Yuuri envies him. Some days he's shaking so much he needs Viktor's help to step into History Maker's Conn-Pod.

"It was big, for a Category III." Viktor sounds thoughtful. "They had to send a team of two Jaegers to take it down.

"I heard JJ was pissed that the Crispino twins stole his kill," Yurio says with a smirk.

Yuuri doesn't reply. It's not nice to speak ill of someone who's not there, but it's true that JJ is a handful.

"All the same, it was big," Viktor insists. "Phichit says we should expect to see Category IV's more often and–"

"Ah!" Yuuri exclaims, startling them all. He gets up from his chair despite Viktor's attempts to wrap himself around him. "I forgot I told Phichit I'd meet him for… you know…"

"For what?" Yurio asks.

Viktor cuts him off. "Never mind that," he says, before turning to Yuuri and smiling up at him. "A goodbye kiss before you go?"

Yuuri bends down to brush his lips against Viktor's, ignoring Yurio's outraged squawks.

"That's disgusting, you already live together and spend all your time together, it's completely unnecessary…"

"I'll see you later," Yuuri whispers against Viktor's lips.

Yurio makes a gagging sound.

As he's leaving, Yuuri hears Viktor switch into Russian to ask Yurio about his co-pilot. When he steps into the corridor and closes the metal door behind him, the voices are cut off. It's still strange to be back in Japan – to see kanji on the walls all around him, instead of the unfamiliar Cyrillic script. Viktor's Japanese is so rusty, he keeps having to ask Yuuri to translate for him.

Phichit is waiting at the entrance of the hospital wing, perched on one of the grey plastic chairs and playing with his tablet.

"Sorry I'm late," Yuuri says.

Phichit waves away his excuses, and also his attempts to give him a hand as he pushes himself to his feet and retrieves his cane. "It's fine, it's fine, I was checking some work emails anyway."

They make their ways to the empty wards, Yuuri slowing down his pace to match Phichit's limp. Phichit's smile is just as wide as it was years ago, when he and Yuuri first met in LA, though it falters a little when they stop in front of Minami's bed.

"Still no change," he says, looking at the charts displayed on a large hovering screen.

Yuuri takes two chairs and pushes them near the bed. "Do you think he'll wake up?"

Phichit sits down next to Yuuri, puts one hand on his shoulder. "He might. He's tougher than he looks – like you."

"I'm nothing special." Yuuri bows his head.

"That's not true and you know it." There's a pause, punctuated only by the beeping and buzzing of the machines keeping the kid alive. "You know… Minami would be so happy if he knew you were visiting. He always used to say you were his hero."

It's all Yuuri can do to stop himself from breaking apart.

\---

A Kaiju attack is nothing like the simulation.

It starts with a siren in the middle of the night, blasting through the base and jolting them out of their bunk beds. Yuri's cat yowls and hides on top of the wardrobe, hissing at the speaker on the wall. The PA is broadcasting the emergency procedure while Yuri and Otabek dash through the corridors with their shirts still half-unbuttoned, boots pounding against the metal floors.

Before Yuri can even think about what's happening they're locked into the Conn-Pod, and then they're dropping, and Tiger Fury is wading out into the ocean to intercept the Kaiju. A Category IV, Georgi says through the comms, voice almost breaking with nervousness.

Yuri doesn't feel nervous. Well, maybe just a little. It's like his entire life has been leading up to this moment. This is when he can finally put his years of training to use.

 _Time to save the world_ , he thinks, and he feels Otabek's quiet determination in the drift.

Otabek doesn't feel worried either, nor scared. Not even when Tiger Fury steps in front of the Kaiju, blocking its path, and the Kaiju roars loud enough to make their ears ring. Yakov is bellowing orders but Yuri and Otabek already know what to do. They've trained for this.

Then the Kaiju lowers its head and comes barrelling straight at them, and so much for their carefully rehearsed manoeuvre. Tiger Fury staggers back with a crash of waves but she doesn't go down.

"Claws!" comes Yakov's voice through their helmets.

Yuri's left arm snaps up to deploy the razor sharp blades on the Jaeger's forearm. Otabek does the same with the right arm. They hit the Kaiju together with a barrage of strikes that doesn't leave it time for a counter-attack. The blades slice through hide and sinew and come away dripping with Kaiju blue.

Yuri closes in to deliver the killing blow. "Let's finish it."

"Careful!" Otabek calls out.

Yuri feels Otabek's concern in his head and pulls back just in time. The Jaeger stumbles to the side while the Kaiju launches a surprise attack, lashing out with barbed appendages that had been hidden underwater.

"Armour is taking damage," Georgi announces, as if Yuri and Otabek couldn't feel that. There's a stinging pain in Yuri's chest.

"This is not a simulation," Yakov barks. "Focus!"

Yuri chafes at the criticism – he could rush the Kaiju and take it down, he knows he can. If he was in a simulation, he would have struck already. Next to him, Otabek is ready to spring into action.

"You don't think we should get close," Yuri says. It's not a question.

Tiger Fury circles the Kaiju, careful to remain between the monster and the coast.

"It's risky," is all that Otabek says. Too risky, Yuri knows. Yuri trusts himself and Tiger Fury, and he knows Otabek does too, but too much is at stake.

Maybe it would be different if he was alone inside the Jaeger: Yuri is not afraid to risk his own life. But it's not about himself any more, about beating a record on the simulator – he has to think about Otabek and about everyone back in the Shatterdome. Tiger Fury is the last line of defence, if the Kaiju makes landfall then millions of people will die.

Yuri initiates the charging of the plasma cannons. "Let's push it back, it's too close to the Miracle Mile."

Fighting a Kaiju is nothing at all like the simulation. It's long and gruelling and requires every ounce of physical and mental strength Yuri has.

One hour after deploying, they're still fighting, and Yuri feels like his muscles are going to give out. He reaches out to Otabek in the drift and lets him know that like hell he's giving up. Otabek's determination matches Yuri. They yell instructions until they're hoarse, not because they need their voices to communicate, but because it's reassuring to hear each other.

It takes one other hour for the Kaiju to go down, and even then it's still thrashing about, so they activate Tiger Fury's sword and hack at the creature until it stops moving.

Yuri sags, weighted down by his drivesuit, and only the full-body rig stops him from collapsing to the floor. The longest Kaiju fight ever was almost five hours. Yuri doesn't envy that record.

"Good work," Lilia cuts in through the comms, "now hurry up and contain the Kaiju blue before it spreads all over."

It's an essential part of a Ranger's job to protect the oceans from being polluted by the Kaijus' strange alien blood. They have practised this a million times, both alone and together in the simulator. But they've never done it after two hours of fighting, muscles aching from the effort of manoeuvring the Jaeger, feeling bruised all over as the drivesuits translate the damage taken by Tiger Fury into sharp, stinging pain.

Yuri wants nothing better than to curl up into a ball and go to sleep, but it's not over yet. After cleaning up, they have to take Tiger Fury back to the Shatterdome, detach themselves from the rig, and undergo the tedious decontamination process.

Yakov finds them sitting shoulder to shoulder on a metal bench, having fallen asleep while they were stripping off their under-armour, and orders them to get to their bunk beds at once and to not show their faces around before midday tomorrow.

"Yes sir," Otabek mumbles, and Yuri throws his arm around Otabek's shoulders for support. They go.

"Good work," Yakov calls after them, voice brimming with pride, and Yuri's yawn turns into a grin.

\---

"Does it bother you?" Sara rests her chin on her hands and stares at Mila across the workbench.

Mila shrugs. "I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't – but there will be other chances for me. Besides, Yuri has worked hard for this."

They both turn around to glance to where Yuri is standing with Otabek at the other end of the bay. The two boys seem to be deep in conversation about some repairs to Tiger Fury

"You've worked hard too," Sara points out. "You deserved to be inside that Jaeger."

Mila feels touched by Sara's outrage. Even though Sara is speaking out of friendship, since she doesn't know Yuri and Otabek well enough to judge their abilities, it feels good for Mila to know that she's got someone in her corner. As much as she likes Yuri, after a while it gets tiresome to hear everyone talk about how great he is, knowing how close she had come to being in his place.

She flashes Sara a brief smile. "It's too bad I'm not drift compatible with Otabek. He's handsome, isn't he?"

"He _is_." Sara turns around to check out Otabek and grins. "From his photos I thought he didn't look like much, but he's such a cutie in person. He should smile more often."

"Totally," Mila agrees. "Half of the personnel in the Shatterdome is already in love with him."

"Just half?"

"Well," Mila says, carefully, "let's just say that Otabek and Yuri are not the easiest pilots to work with. They're good, don't get me wrong, they're just… uh… a bit intense when they're under pressure, if you get my meaning?"

Sara gives her a blank look. Mila glances around to check that nobody is listening, then leans forward. "They made Georgi cry during the last mission, they were yelling so much! Don't laugh," she adds, hiding a grin behind one hand. Sara is also snickering. "He said they were making scary faces! They're always getting worked up about everything, even in the simulator."

"It's not so bad, though." Sara wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. "It means they're passionate about what they do."

Mila nods. "They're always pushing the ground crew, but they push themselves even harder." At least, even if it can't be her piloting a Jaeger, she knows that the Siberian wall is in good hands. "Yuri has always been a perfectionist, but he's found his match in Otabek. Watching them fight… They really are something else."

Sara glances at her, and maybe she reads something in her tone. "What about you? Are you also in love with the hero of Kazakhstan?"

Mila laughs. "You caught me." Love is a strong word, but there's no doubt that Otabek is easy on the eyes _and_ has a great personality under his antisocial exterior. "Too bad he's already in love with someone else."

"Really?"

Before Mila can elaborate, Sara's brother shows up, shadowed as always by one of their technicians.

"What are you girls talking about?" he asks, causing them to burst into giggles.

"Nothing," Sara says, giving Michele an innocent smile. "Just asking Mila about Tiger Fury. Now that we're being stationed in Manila, we might have do a two-Jaeger drop with them some time soon."

"Paladin Delta doesn't need backup," Michele says with an expansive shrug.

The tech puts an arm around his shoulders. "Now, now, Mickey! There's been too many attacks this side of the Pacific in the past year. We might see a double event–"

"Always with this stupid theory!" Michele shrugs him off. "Quit it, Emil, it's not going to happen. No way two Kaiju are going to show up at once." But there's still a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

Mila looks at Emil, who's still smiling, unfazed by Michele's brusque tone. "You should talk with Georgi about it. Georgi Popovich. He's been studying Kaiju behaviour and attack patterns."

After that, the discussion moves on to the new models of chain swords that are being developed in the States, and Sara either forgets or decides not to ask about Otabek's crush. Maybe it's better this way. Mila doesn't know anything for sure, it's just a hunch on her part.

There's something in the way Otabek and Yuri always stand close together, leaning into each other's personal space. How Otabek saves his brightest smiles only for Yuri. Maybe it's nothing – but after three years of living with Viktor and Yuuri, Mila can spot the signs, and she's seeing them now.

\---

Phichit limps halfway across the Shatterdome to bring Yuuri the news in person. He knocks on the metal door for a long time before Yuuri appears, bleary-eyed and with the shirt of his pajama put on front to back.

"It's the middle of the night," Yuuri says, stifling a yawn.

"Minami woke up," Phichit blurts out, grinning like an idiot.

There's a moment in which Yuuri just blinks at him while he processes the words, then he claps one hand on his mouth and chokes out a sob. "He did? Viktor… Viktor! Minami woke up!"

Phichit steps into the room and immediately claps one hand over his eyes. Viktor is just now rising from the bed, butt-naked. "Oh no, you should put some pants on," Phichit says.

"It's fine! Did you say he woke up? When?"

"Just now." Phichit isn't sure Yuuri appreciates him seeing his husband like that. He's careful to keep his eyes on the photos on the wall while Viktor wanders around searching for his clothes. "They're running some tests but he seems stable."

"Isn't that great? Don't cry, Yuuri, this is great news!"

Viktor rushes across the room, still shirtless, to wrap Yuuri into a hug.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Yuuri says, wiping away his tears. "I just– I wasn't– I'm so glad."

"You can visit him tomorrow and tell him that," Phichit says. "He'll be happy to hear it from you."

"I don't want to be a burden," Yuuri says, glancing down. Viktor squeezes him tighter.

Phichit gives Yuuri an encouraging smile. "Nonsense, you won't be." He hesitates just a moment before switching from English to Japanese, the words coming easily along with the memories. "You should tell him that it's not his fault, about Terra Incognita."

Phichit's fingers rest on one of the photos. It was taken on a beach in Bangkok after their first successful drop. The Jaeger in the background, gleaming blue and white in the sunlight. In the foreground Phichit and Yuuri, still in their drivesuits, grinning at the camera and making victory signs. Phichit hadn't known back then that it would be his only successful drop.

Now Yuuri is looking at the photo too. He disentangles himself from Viktor's embrace and comes to stand next to Phichit. "Minami… Is he blaming himself for what happened?"

"Survivor's guilt is a powerful thing." Phichit's voice is low.

In three years he's never told anyone that, when the Kaiju broke through the reinforced walls of the Conn-Pod, he hadn't been knocked out at once. Or rather he had – but he'd still been drifting with Yuuri, so he experienced the rest of the fight like a very vivid dream. Phichit can still remember Yuuri's fear and desperation, the way he'd turned the tide of the fight all on his own.

"It's not Minami's fault that Terra Incognita was destroyed," Yuuri says. "Or his co-pilot's… I've seen the footage, it was brutal. If Minami hadn't detached his life pod when he did, he would have died too – there was nothing he could have done!"

"He would have needed a miracle," Viktor says in his heavily accented Japanese.

He doesn't need to say that what Yuuri had done all those years ago had been more unique than rare. He'd killed a Kaiju on his own, in a damaged Jaeger, and then managed to bring the Jaeger back to shore. He'd saved Phichit's life, as well as a city of more than ten million people. And all he would do afterwards was apologize to Phichit for not being able to save his leg too.

"Minami already did so much," Yuuri said. "He slowed down the Kaiju long enough for Leo and Guang Hong to arrive. It's thanks to him that Kyushu is still safe!"

"Tell him," Viktor says. "Both of you. You were Terra Incognita's pilots originally. If you tell him, he'll believe it."

Phichit's lips curl into a smile. "I'm sure he will."

Viktor can be a pretty reliable guy when he wants to, despite the lack of pants.

\---

Lilia won't tell Yakov, because he would say she's going soft, but she's very proud of her youngest Rangers. They do a difficult, high-pressure job that leaves them with precious little off time and requires iron-clad discipline. Everyone in the Pan Pacific Defense Corps has sacrificed something, left their family and friends behind to keep the world safe, but it's particularly harsh to demand such a sacrifice from the younger ones.

Nikiforov, whimsical as he is, had been good at looking after the kids. It's good to see that after his departure the team has pulled together to support each other. Plisetsky in particular used to drive Yakov crazy with his bouts of insubordination and sullen moods, but he's mellowed out considerably since Altin's arrival. Maybe he's finally growing up, like Yakov says. Maybe he was just lonely.

That's not to say that Plisetsky behaves like a saint now. It's never while he's on duty, but he still acts out every once in a while. Like when Tiger Fury's armour is being repaired after taking damage after her first fight. Plisetsky shows up while Lilia is supervising the workmen, asking to paint the Jaeger silver and purple, with tiger stripes or leopard spots.

"Absolutely not," is Lilia's immediate reply. "I won't have such an unsightly Jaeger in my Shatterdome. Besides, it would be against regulations."

Tiger Fury is painted a plain off-white colour. Plisetsky sulks all afternoon, but Lilia thinks he got the message.

Or at least she does until the next morning, when a very panicked ground crewman informs her that someone broke into Bay One overnight and painted leopard spots on Tiger Fury.

It's only too easy to figure out what must have happened, especially since Plisetsky looks insufferably smug despite the dark rings under his eyes, like he's challenging Lilia to accuse him of anything. Lilia would rather ask Altin why _he_ was involved – Lilia wouldn't have pegged him as the prankster type, but there's no doubt that he helped since he looks just as sleep-deprived.

In the end, it seems easier to let it slide, just this once. "Maybe the spots will act as camouflage," Yakov says in a rare bout of optimism, and Lilia just pinches her mouth and doesn't reply.

It's not the dumbest thing Plisetsky has ever done, but at least it's intentional. Once, he sprains his wrist by overdoing it in the gym. When Lilia hears about it, she storms in, meaning to give the kid a piece of her mind.

Plisetsky is sitting on a bench with Altin, who's wrapping a bandage around his wrist. Their heads are bowed together and they don't even notice Lilia's arrival. Lilia knows from Altin's dossier that he has first aid training, but it's the first time she's seen him put that skill to use. His movements looks practised, but also very gentle. Plisetsky doesn't say anything, only his pursed lips signal his discomfort.

"Does it hurt?" Altin asks as he pins the bandage into place.

Plisetsky cradles his injured wrist. "Not really," he lies.

Altin retrieves an ice pack from his bag and puts it on the wrist, holding it in place. "Yura, you've got to take better care of yourself. You're always pushing yourself too hard."

Plisetsky bows his head, so his hair is hiding his eyes, and nods. Neither of them has noticed Lilia yet, so she just turns around and leaves. Altin has already said what she wanted to, and she has the feeling that Plisetsky will listen to Altin more than to her.

The problem with those two is that they're _both_ consistently better at taking care of each other than at taking care of themselves. Because it's not as if Altin is good at recognizing his own limits – he's always trying to catch up to Plisetsky's superior hand-to-hand combat skills, to the point that he often ends up training even in his free time.

Sometimes, Altin is so exhausted at the end of the day that Plisetsky has to drag him to the canteen and then prod him into eating something. "You can't fall asleep with an empty stomach, Beka!" Plisetsky says around a mouthful of food, and Altin, his eyes half-closed, stabs a piece of potato and shoves it into his mouth.

Being drift compatible with each other, it's only normal for them to become somewhat codependent. Ranger pairs, if they manage not to die young, usually end up one of two ways. Either they become lifelong partners, or they have a spectacular meltdown. Lilia thinks Plisetsky and Altin are going to end up as the former, but since she herself is an example of the latter, she makes sure to keep an eye on the kids just in case.

Passing through the dorms one afternoon, Lilia notices Plisetsky's cat sniffing around the corridor.

"Really!" Lilia exclaims, scooping the beast in her arms. She marches to Plisetsky and Altin's room and pushes open the door. "You left your door ajar again, you're supposed to…"

She trails off when she sees that the two of them are sleeping – they haven't even stirred at her outburst. They're still wearing their uniforms, and they're both squeezed on the lower bunk bed, which can't possibly be comfortable. Altin is on his back, one booted leg dangling off the edge of the bed. Plisetsky is sprawled over him, using his chest as a pillow.

Lilia tries to figure out how long ago they went off duty and why on Earth they couldn't take two minutes to change into sleeping clothes and get under the covers. Plisetsky's shirt is riding up his back, he's going to catch a cold. As for Altin, his arm is trapped under Plisetsky and no doubt he'll wake up with pins and needles. Maybe she should wake them up and tell them.

The cat jumps down from Lilia's arms and climbs on the bed, settling over Altin's legs. Lilia's joints ache in sympathy just at the thought of sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. Then again, Plisetsky and Altin are young, and the main thing is that they are getting some rest. Plisetsky's face seems so peaceful without his usual scowl, and Altin looks even younger than he is.

Maybe Lilia is getting a bit soft. She turns off the white neon lights overhead, leaving only the dim glow of the emergency light, and closes the door softly behind her. Halfway across the corridor, Lilia realizes that she's smiling despite herself, and has to school her features into a neutral expression before going on with her day.

\---

"I can't believe they sent a team of three Jaegers," Yuri says as they step out of the changing room. He's still towelling his hair dry and his skin is pink from the too-hot decontamination shower.

Otabek stretches his back with an audible pop. "It was a Category V," he points out.

"Yeah, yeah, but– _three_ , Beka? That's total overkill, we could've handled it on our own."

"Maybe with just another Jaeger as a backup," Otabek says, thinking back to the fight. "Just to be on the safe side.

Yuri hums his agreement. "I suppose History Maker did help." He pushes his hair out of his eyes – it's grown so long that he's started to tie it back when he's on duty. Then he frowns, glancing back. "Do you think JJ is okay?"

At the other end of the corridor, Viktor is talking animatedly with Yakov in Russian, while Japanese Yuuri smiles up at him. However, there's still no trace of either JJ or his mother.

"I don't know," Otabek admits. "Too freeze up like that…"

"I don't understand it. It wasn't his first drop, he's even fought larger Kaiju. So why?"

Otabek shakes his head. "Not everyone has your mental strength, Yura."

" _You_ wouldn't panic during a drop either," Yuri says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Otabek hopes it's true. "Not while I'm with you," he says, even though he can't know for sure. He can just do his best every time, and hope it's enough. It's so easy to crack under the pressure of this job.

The large double doors leading into the bays open to admit Isabella Yang. She marches up to Yakov and salutes.

"System checks on King Crimson have been completed, Marshall Feltsman. We're ready to return to LA as soon as tomorrow."

The last few words sounds almost like a question. Otabek doesn't miss the way her eyes are scanning the corridor.

"You two," Yakov calls, and Otabek and Yuri step closer. "Where are the Leroys?"

"Still in decontamination," Otabek says. "I'm sure they'll be along shortly."

"Hope they'll be leaving shortly," Yuri says, low enough so the others won't hear.

Viktor turns his brightest smile on Isabella. "You don't have to leave so soon. We can patrol your quadrant for a couple of days, and Yurio can do the coast of Japan–"

"Now wait just a minute," Yakov says, one vein already throbbing in his forehead, while Yuri snarls, "You don't get to order us around, you old has-been!"

Isabella makes a placating motion with her hands. "Thank you for offering but there's no need…"

Just then, JJ and his mother walk out of the changing rooms. JJ's shoulders are still slumped, but when he sees Isabella he straightens up and makes a creditable attempt at a grin.

"Hey, baby," he says.

Isabella runs up to him and throws her arms around his neck, and JJ hides his face against her shoulder.

Otabek and Yuri look away.

"Ew," Yuri says, sticking out his tongue. "Like we needed another disgusting couple."

Viktor smirks and sticks one hand in Japanese Yuuri's back pocket, causing him to flush scarlet and Yuri to make outraged noises.

"Don't mind them," Otabek mutters, pulling Yuri aside. Yuri's wet hair is dripping all over his shoulders, so Otabek starts towelling it, otherwise Yuri will just let it drip-dry despite the cold.

Yuri looks at Otabek. They're almost eye to eye now. It occurs to Otabek that soon Yuri will be tall enough to look down on him.

"When we are drifting," Yuri says, out of the blue. "That memory about you entering the Jaeger Program…"

"Yes?" There's no point in denying it. Yuri knows why Otabek joined up – he's known everything about Otabek since the first time they drifted together.

Yuri bites down on his lower lip. His eyes are half-hidden under the towel and his hair. "I just wanted to say… I'm glad you did. I can't imagine being inside a Jaeger with anyone else."

Otabek hesitates. "Not even him?" he asks, nodding towards the corner where Viktor and Japanese Yuuri are whispering to each other.

Yuri shakes his head and a few droplets of hair fall on Otabek's hands. Yuri's hair smells great, despite the fact that he uses the same generic army-issued shampoo as everyone. Meanwhile, JJ and his girlfriend have wandered off and JJ's mother is talking to Yakov, but Yuri still lowers his voice. "It was years ago, I was still in the academy. Now I– I'm glad Viktor turned me down– because I might not have met you–"

He stammers to a silence. Otabek's hands are still on the towel, though they've stilled. "I know," Otabek murmurs.

"I know that you know," Yuri mutters in a vague approximation of his annoyed tone. He frowns down at his sneakers. "Dunno why I even brought it up. I just wanted to tell you outside the drift."

Otabek tilts Yuri's head lightly, until they're eye to eye again. "I'm happy you told me."

There's more that he wants to say, but it's hard to find the words. It's simpler when they're inside a Jaeger, sharing one consciousness – even though, when they do, they're literally fighting back the apocalypse. And sometimes the apocalypse looms so close, all Otabek wants to do is hold on to Yuri and never let go.

Maybe they're wasting time, dancing around each other as they are while the world is falling apart. Otabek thinks he knows why JJ and Isabella are pushing their wedding forward, or why Viktor and Yuuri spend literally every moment together. Nobody knows how long the world has, how long _they_ have.

Fear is never going to get the best of Otabek, though. He's got a Jaeger, he's got Yuri, and they're not going down without a fight. They won't let the ever-present threat of the apocalypse stop them from living. Yuri puts his hand over Otabek's and squeezes gently, as if he knows what Otabek is thinking about. Perhaps he does. They do spend a lot of time inside each other's heads.

"Beka…"

"I know," Otabek says again, leaning his forehead against Yuri's.


End file.
